


So Shine Forever

by SkyChasingDreamer



Category: Gintama
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Dark, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, I don't know how to tag this, M/M, Slice of Life, Supernatural Elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-10
Updated: 2014-06-10
Packaged: 2018-02-04 02:53:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1763445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkyChasingDreamer/pseuds/SkyChasingDreamer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Deadtoki</p>
            </blockquote>





	So Shine Forever

**Art By:[Kihentai](http://kihentai.tumblr.com/)**

The taxi sped down a road Hijikata felt he should know, but memory wasn't serving him as well as it used to. He figured the closer he got to where he wanted to go, the more familiar things would become to him – home was where the heart was or something like that. Yawning, Hijikata clutched a stone in his fist and watched the scenery fly by in green blurs. His body was tired and there was relief in knowing he was finally going back to the place he loved most in the world.

-o-O-o-

_Hijikata jumped the last few feet down from the side of the house to the ground. All the lights were off inside, so it was easy for him to sneak off as he'd done so many times before. He tightened his green hoodie around him and stole off into the woods at a run, though he was careful to not trip over the cobble stones just off the property. He was excited, always eager to be out with Gintoki again, and couldn't wait to find out what they'd do to pass the night._

_“Don't run at night, idiot!”_

_Hijikata slowed just as he reached the abandoned observatory and turned in a circle. “Where the hell are ya?”_

_“Where do you think?”_

_Hijikata narrowed his eyes at every dark shadow and turned in another slow circle. A gust of cold breath fanned over the back of Hijikata's neck and he yelped, but when he turned, there was nothing there._

_“You asshole! I hate it when you do that!”_

_Gintoki's laugh came from behind him and when he turned this time, Gintoki was standing there smiling in his dark pants and cream shirt. “I know. Why do you think I do it?”_

_“To be annoying.”_

_“Well, that's one reason.” Gintoki sniggered and plopped down on his butt without making much of a sound. “C'mere! There's something I want to show you!”_

_Hijikata sat down next to him and Gintoki pulled him down so they were laying on their backs. Gintoki's cool fingers slid over Hijikata's wrist and down his hand and completely stole his attention from the sky. There was something Gintoki didn't know, something Hijikata was too afraid to ever say, because he loved Gintoki and that was something that just couldn't come to pass. He didn't have a doubt Gintoki loved him too, but to actually say it, to give life to it with words... some things were best left unsaid._

_“There, just off the Milky Way,” Gintoki was pointing up, his necklace dangling off to one side, and it took a bit for Hijikata to bring himself to look away from his smile. “Do you see him?”_

_“No, show me.”_

_Gintoki snorted and scooted a little closer so their heads were nearer. “Ophiuchus is rare to see this time of year, but he's really clear tonight.”_

_“Ophiuchus?”_

_“The serpent bearer. Do you see him? There, that cluster of stars.”_

_It was already late, but Hijikata spent much and more time with Gintoki that night. They talked about the stars and the origins of Ophiuchus, then took turns making up lore of their own. Yeah, the observatory was nearby, but it was just as gratifying to stay out exposed to the night sky in the grass. It wasn't until the moon hit its zenith that Hijikata started to yawn more than he was able to talk and Gintoki asked him if he wanted to go back._

_“Can I just stay out here awhile?”_

_“Of course.”_

_Hijikata curled up and closed his eyes, comfortable there in the grass with Gintoki watching over him. Gintoki had been his guardian for years, ever since Hijikata was six – probably even before then for all Hijikata knew. It'd been a chilly day, in that strange space of time where winter was ending and spring was beginning. Hijikata had just been playing off by himself, not paying attention to where he was going, and he'd fallen into a river. He would have frozen to death, should have, and he remembered how it felt. He remembered the shocking cold, the fractals of ice still clinging to the edges of the bank, the invisible hands yanking and pulling him down. He'd been powerless against the current, his limbs had moved without purpose, and the weight of his jacket only pulled him down farther._

_But then it broke, everything around him just shattered, and when he went to take a breath, sure that he'd breathe in water, it was a mouthful of air that filled his lungs instead. The cold was replaced by the warmth of the sun as two strong arms lifted him up and pulled him in close. Hijikata could remember looking up into bright red eyes and all the terror he'd felt before melted away. He was shivering, absolutely freezing, but he held his arms out until he got them around Gintoki's neck and he held on._

_Gintoki talked to him, Hijikata remembered that, too. They'd been soft words, gentle ones, and Hijikata had clung to him as Gintoki carried him home. He didn't recall the walk too much, only Gintoki holding him and telling him it was going to be alright. It could have been Hijikata's age at the time or maybe even his naivety, but when Gintoki said it would be okay, Hijikata had believed him. The terror didn't return, it didn't matter that he'd never seen this strange boy before that was older and bigger than him, he just knew he was safe and that was all that mattered._

_Explaining to his parents and brother how he'd gotten back had been a lot trickier. It hadn't taken Hijikata long to learn that he couldn't explain what had happened, not without sounding insane. Even at the tender age of six, he wasn't stupid. That night Gintoki had dropped Hijikata off on the threshold of the hills and left him to go to the house by himself. Hijikata hadn't seen him leave, he'd just turned around and Gintoki was gone, leaving only rustling branches. He'd talked about Gintoki and tried to explain what really happened, but no one took him seriously. Who would believe that a guy with white hair and red eyes pulled him from a river and carried him home? They figured the cold had gotten to him and he'd imagined it, but he knew better, he knew it'd been real._

_So, for the following days once he was allowed out of the house on his own again, he spent his time looking for Gintoki. He hadn't known Gintoki's name then, so he'd gone around calling out for_ boy _or_ natural perm _, but he didn't find anything. There were no footprints, no evidence that Gintoki had ever been there, but Hijikata kept looking. After two weeks of looking and finding nothing, Hijikata changed his methods. If walking around and hunting for Gintoki wasn't going to work, he'd have to come up with something better._

_In retrospect, his chosen method wasn't at all practical or even really all that sane, but it had yielded the desired result. He was sure Gintoki still held some grudge over it, but if he did, he never spoke of it. Not knowing what else to do, Hijikata had climbed the trunk of a giant Oak and shimmied out onto the largest of the lower branches. It was high up off the ground for someone of six and he knew that if he fell, he'd get hurt. He wouldn't die, but he could break something and he remembered that he hadn't been afraid. He knew it was crazy, but he was frustrated and something close to desperate, so he'd jumped._

_And Gintoki had caught him._

_Hijikata had had no idea where Gintoki had come from, he'd just appeared and snatched Hijikata out of the air. It'd been strange, he'd jumped and Gintoki had caught him around the waist and held him so tight, like this was the only thing he'd ever dared grab hold of. That was the way it had felt when Hijikata's arms had wrapped around Gintoki's shoulders and his cheek was pressed against a cool one._

_“I've got you,” was all Gintoki had needed to say for Hijikata to trust him._

_From that point forward, Hijikata spent as much time as he could in the woods with Gintoki. He had to jump off things a few more times to get Gintoki to keep showing up and eventually he started to stay with him. It finally, over time, turned into all Hijikata had to do was walk into the woods to the old observatory and Gintoki would be there waiting for him. Hijikata didn't talk about Gintoki to anyone, he started to, but then it turned into him having an imaginary friend and that just wasn't right. So, Hijikata kept it to himself and got to have the best time of his life living in two different worlds._

_He and Gintoki would play games, all kinds of games like hide and seek, tag, it didn't matter, Gintoki always played. There were times Hijikata would just sit between Gintoki's legs and listen to him tell stories. It'd taken Hijikata awhile to figure out that some of the stories were ones Gintoki was making up on the spot, but that didn't make them any less interesting and fun to listen to. Then when Hijikata wasn't with Gintoki, he was in school with his friends, always learning and growing no matter where he was._

_At first, Gintoki had worn older clothes, a simple torn white shirt and baggy brown pants that didn't fit the day and age. But then one day, Hijikata had brought a magazine with him and pointed to an outfit he liked, a pair of khaki shorts and a v-neck black shirt. In a blink, that was what Gintoki was wearing and what he kept wearing until Hijikata picked something else for him. He didn't know how it worked and he didn't want to ask, this was something he wasn't sure he'd ever understand even if Gintoki knew how to explain it. As he got older, Hijikata looked up ghosts and ghouls and poltergeists, whatever information he could get his hands on regarding the paranormal._

_They gave him little to no insight to what Gintoki was, he was inexplicable. It was through this way that Hijikata had decided for himself that some things in life didn't require explanation. Some things just were and Gintoki was something he was grateful for, even if there was no way to put him into words. There were rumors about these woods, that they were haunted and such, which was true, but no one knew that it was some kind of ghost that was too lazy to actually do any haunting. Gintoki existed, this was his place, and he took care of it in his own fashion._

_Gintoki was literally lazy though, Hijikata wasn't making that up. He walked slowly, he could be found sometimes laying around on branches in trees or sitting with his feet in a stream. Gintoki was calm a lot, but also very loud and he smiled when Hijikata was around, though, at times those smiles could seem empty. Every once in awhile, meaning hardly ever at all, Hijikata could see through Gintoki. It was just glimpses, seconds where Gintoki didn't seem like the person Hijikata had known growing up. Once, when Hijikata had asked about Gintoki's past, that had been the absolute worst look he'd ever seen._

_“I don't know,” Gintoki had answered after a long pause and he just looked so hollow – Hijikata had never asked again._

_Then, there were times Hijikata could quite literally see through Gintoki. It happened often, truth be known. Gintoki was solid most of the time, but then he'd grow paler and suddenly Hijikata could see the tree behind him through his chest. It'd scared him at first, it'd felt like Gintoki was vanishing, that he'd go away and not come back. He wasn't afraid of such a thing anymore, Gintoki always came back and the in and out thing was pretty much natural for him._

_Throughout the years as Hijikata grew older, Gintoki remained the same. Things Hijikata hadn't thought much of as a child began to make more sense and now, he and Gintoki were mostly the same height and size. Also during those years, Hijikata had broken two bones on two separate occasions, busted his lip too many times to count, gotten in school yard fights, and fractured a rib, but no harm had ever come to him when he was with Gintoki. From the very first day, be it by instinctual inclination or whatever, Hijikata had known he was safe with the natural perm._

_Hijikata sighed contentedly, they'd had over ten years together and it'd helped to make Hijikata into the person he was. He had a short temper, nothing could change that, but he had values – good ones. He was close with his family, Gintoki had taught him the importance of taking care of them properly, and he had great friends. Gintoki had even contributed to how well Hijikata did in school every year. No, Gintoki didn't know very much about the material and he could be quite the distraction when he wanted to be, but he let Hijikata study and air out his frustrations if he started to feel overwhelmed. One of Hijikata's favorite study spots was in a meadow about half a mile from the house where waves of wheat grew and wild flowers covered an entire hill._

_He didn't see Gintoki every day or night, the older he got, the busier he got, but they were together at least four days a week. Gintoki never minded, he was always happy to see Hijikata and it became a custom that they meet up at the observatory. Gintoki had a thing with the sky, he liked the stars and had so many things to say about it, sometimes it was hard to get to shut up. Hijikata grew to the love the sky, too, if only because it reminded him of Gintoki. He found himself taking astronomy and space science as electives just so he could learn more and share it with Gintoki._

_But Gintoki talked about the stars and sky differently than any teacher or, really, anyone else Hijikata had ever known. Gintoki could point to stars and tell Hijikata how they felt. Not how Gintoki felt about them, but the stars themselves, how they felt. Some were angry, some sad, others excited, more still melancholic. It was like they were friends and Gintoki spoke of them with such fondness, like he really cared for them. Hijikata had asked if people became stars when they died and Gintoki had laughed and shaken his head as he ruffled Hijikata's hair._

_Often, Hijikata would find himself wondering how lonely Gintoki had to have been to make friends with stars and as he drifted off, he told himself, not for the first time, that he never wanted Gintoki to be lonely ever again._

-o-O-o-

The taxi hit a bump and it was jarring enough to make Hijikata wince in pain. His body had lost its youthful luster long ago, now he was left mainly with arthritis and creaking joints. The thought of himself made him snort though, he'd been such an idiot thinking things like that. He'd known loneliness, he couldn't begin to fathom the depths of Gintoki's loneliness, not then and not now.

-o-O-o-

_They were on a walk, aimless and relaxing, like so many walks they'd gone on before. They must have traveled every acre of the woods over the years, but it felt different every time. Plants grew bigger, trees larger, with each passing season, no part of the forest ever looked the same as it had the season before. They'd been bantering all morning, they squabbled a lot about different things, and the afternoon found them silent and just enjoying each other._

_Gintoki stopped and Hijikata slowed, calling, “Everything alright?”_

_“I... don't know.” Hijikata doubled back and Gintoki looked around, confused. “I feel like I should know this place.”_

_“This is your forest, I'm sure you've been here before,” Hijikata replied, meaning for it to be teasing._

_Gintoki took a step and paused. “Yes, but, this feels... different.”_

_They walked around the area very slowly, Hijikata keeping match with Gintoki's pace. The crickets sang and they left the deer trail behind, though it was a lot harder for Hijikata to move around than it was for Gintoki. He could phase through things if he wanted to where Hijikata had to literally blaze a trail for himself, but he didn't complain. It wasn't until they ran into a small grove that Gintoki gave a shout and vanished._

_He reappeared near the center of the grove in front of a thick red tree and a cluster of rocks and Hijikata asked, “What is it?”_

_“It's – look! It's me! This is my place!”_

_Hijikata, heart hammering, fought through the thicket to get to him and stared down at the dirtied and broken headstone that hadn't even looked like a grave at first glance. Gintoki didn't seem to care how filthy it was or that it was covered partially in vines, he was grinning and crouched in front of it._

_“You can't even read it anymore!”_

_“So you're...” Hijikata looked down at the space in front of the grave and didn't want to step on it, “d-down there?”_

_“No, I'm right here,” Gintoki replied and threw a smile over his shoulder. “My body belongs to the earth now, I doubt there's even bones left at this point.”_

_Seeing Gintoki's grave was a lot freakier than knowing he was talking to a dead person for some reason. Maybe because he'd known Gintoki was deceased this whole time, but seeing his resting place was just... eerie. Stepping carefully, Hijikata moved closer and tried to push the vines aside, but whatever had been written on the headstone had smudged and smeared under the elements of nature and were permanently obscured. It was a shame, it would have been nice to see some dates or at the very least, Gintoki's name._

_“Do you remember anything?”_

_“No.”_

_“So then how do you know this is you?”_

_Gintoki was still smiling and had a cheek leaning up against his knee. “I just know. I know this place because it's mine, I'd just forgotten is all.”_

_“How can you forget where you're, ah, buried?”_

_“I don't know,” Gintoki reached out and brushed his fingers against the top of the stone, “I don't remember how I even died let alone what kind of life I had.”_

_Gintoki never really talked about this stuff, so Hijikata pressed gently, “Is there anything you do remember?”_

_“Hmm... no. Time goes by so quickly, I didn't even notice most if it. I started to forget things somewhere along the way, things I knew were important, they just slipped from my mind. I couldn't keep a good hold on any of it and now I can't remember anything at all. Time lost its meaning, days and nights passed in a blur, it was like I was waiting for something, but I didn't know what. ” Gintoki was quiet a moment, then his eyes shifted from the headstone to Hijikata. “Until you fell into that river.”_

_“T-that was an accident!”_

_Gintoki laughed. “I know, I know! But time... it slowed for you. I remember everything about you down to that terribly puffy blue jacket you'd been wearing.”_

_“My mom m-made me wear that....” Hijikata flushed and balled his fists up. “B-but you... I don't understand. Are you saying y-you've been waiting for me?”_

_“I don't know.” He looked away and there was sadness there that was hard to bear. “People pass through these hills and woods all the time and I barely notice. Saplings have turned into trees, portions of the woods have been chopped down to make room for your buildings and roads, I remember these things vaguely, but they're more like a blink. When you're here, it's different, like I'm actually here too. That's the only way I can explain it.”_

_That was all Gintoki had expanded on before deciding he'd said enough and they'd headed back the way they'd come in silence. Hijikata was the only one of them to look back and he made sure to commit the image to memory. It was important, though he couldn't say why, it just_ was _._

-o-O-o-

“Mind if I smoke?”

The cab driver glanced back through the rear view mirror. “Just crack the window.”

Hijikata did so and lit up to take a deep drag, letting the nicotine fill his lungs. He'd taken up smoking in his twenties as a kind of sick tempt of fate, but he never had any problems or complications. He got halfway through the cigarette before he started coughing and had to stamp the thing out the ashtray.

“Someone your age probably shouldn't be smoking.”

“Someone your age shouldn't be tellin' me what I should or shouldn't do,” Hijikata retorted and squinted at the guy for good measure.

-o-O-o-

_“We're moving.”_

_Gintoki's expression didn't change. “That so?”_

_“Y-yeah. The house is old and they say they wanna be closer to Tamegoro and – and there are no higher level education schools around here for me. They say I'd be leaving anyway and t-they wanna try being closer to a city.”_

_“Do you want to go?” Hijikata shook his head. “Why not?”_

_“Because I'm happy here!”_

_“You could be happy there, too.”_

-o-O-o-

Hijikata cleared his throat, that memory was a hard one and it came to him unbidden, but it was nothing compared to the day he actually left. The last time he'd seen Gintoki... Hijikata looked at his reflection in the window and nearly laughed. He looked nothing like he had back then, his hair had turned ashen, his eyes were duller thanks to cataracts, and his skin was wrinkled under the years that had passed him by. He'd be a stranger to his younger self, that was for certain, but... he was proud of himself and knew Gintoki would be, too.

“You sure you're going to be alright out here on your own?”

“Yes, yes, I'll be fine! I might be old, but I know what I'm doin'!”

-o-O-o-

_Hijikata had never felt so heavy, so downtrodden, but then, he'd also never been in a situation like this before. He'd always been foolish enough to think that he could have Gintoki forever, that nothing would change – what an idiot he'd been. All the bags were packed, the moving van was loaded, all that was left was to say goodbye. He'd never known farewells to have such a bitter bite, but this one already stung worse than any he'd experienced before._

_He found Gintoki sitting facing away in the grass by the observatory and just seeing him made Hijikata feel like he'd just been sucker punched in the gut. Gintoki was wearing the same clothes he'd worn when they'd first met and hat in itself was jarring and something cold washed over him, like the cold fingers of dread. Swallowing, Hijikata's eyes reflexively flicked to where he'd left his hand print on the observatory and it was calming, reassuring, to find it still there. He stared at it awhile, unsure when he'd ever see it again... and that scared him._

_“I hear a brat that grew up here is leaving today.”_

_Hijikata sat with his back to Gintoki's. “What would you tell him i-if he were here?”_

_“That I want him to be happy,” Gintoki leaned back until their heads bumped, “and that he's stupid to want to stay.”_

_“Shouldn't that be his choice?”_

_“Maybe, but there's nothing here for him anymore.”_

_“You're here.”_

_“I'm dead.”_

_Hijikata brought his knees up to his chest and had to fight off the lump in his throat. “That never mattered before. I could... come back. Find a job, rent a place nearby.”_

_“That's no life for you, you know that.”_

_“I don't – are you telling me you don't want me anymore?”_

_“Of course not, moron. I'm telling you to move on,” Gintoki's voice was soft. “You've got the whole rest of your life in front of you, how can you move forward if you're always looking back?”_

_Hijikata couldn't think of an answer even though his mind was racing. “W-what's going to happen to you?”_

_“I don't know.” Hijikata felt him shrug and then sigh. “Remain, I suppose.”_

_“This is the last time, isn't it?” Those cold fingers – so much dread – dug themselves in deeper. “That's what you're getting a-at.”_

_“Yes.”_

_A single word had the power to make Hijikata's world crash down around him and the weight was crushing him. To not have Gintoki anymore... that was a future Hijikata hadn't anticipated, it hadn't even occurred to him. In a way, he understood, but at the same time, he couldn't grasp it at all._

_The last time._

_The weight behind him disappeared and in panic, Hijikata yelled and got to his feet. Gintoki appeared in front of him and there was a smile on his face, a brave smile, a loving one._

_“M'not ready,” Hijikata mumbled and his breath caught in his throat on the lump there._

_“I know,” Gintoki replied and took the couple steps closer to pull Hijikata into a hug. “Neither am I.”_

_Much like when he was a child, Hijikata clung to him and didn't want to let go. Gintoki's body wasn't warm, but it was so easy to feel warmth when he was around. Hijikata closed his eyes and shoved his face into Gintoki's neck as he breathed in the scent of earth and atmosphere. During one of their conversations about stars, Hijikata had envisioned Gintoki as a fallen one, now he didn't know what to think. Whatever Gintoki was or wasn't, it didn't matter, because Gintoki was solely important to everything Hijikata had become._

_“Take care of yourself, bastard.” Hijikata's arms were suddenly empty and a cold gust hit the back of his neck, surprising a yelp out of him._

_There was a laugh and Hijikata snorted, rubbing the offended spot, and the quiet that followed wasn't as deafening as it probably should have been. It was maddening, it was frustrating, and the unknown was terrifying. He knew he couldn't go looking for Gintoki, he wouldn't show himself, and forcing him out with cheap tricks like jumping out of trees, that would just be cruel. Something else was bubbling up in Hijikata's chest in the wake of harsh reality and it was something he hadn't expected to feel._

_“You asshole,” Hijikata yelled, “I'm gonna have a great life, you hear me? When I come back for you I'm gonna have a lot to tell you and you're gonna be proud!” He was short of breath and his eyes were stinging, he rubbed at one furiously with the back of a hand. “I'll be back someday! Don't you dare f-forget me!”_

_He hated that his voice broke, but he turned on a heel and walked away. At the edge of the forest, along the cobbled path, he paused. Bending down, he picked up a small smooth stone and held the cool piece of earth in his palm. He closed his fist around it and almost looked over his shoulder, almost looked back._

_But he didn't._

_He kept walking forward._

-o-O-o-

_Up upon the hill, leaning with crossed arms against a splendorous Oak that had seen a century, Gintoki watched him go with a smile on his lips and wondered why it was that a dead man's heart could still ache._

-o-O-o-

Seventy-four years had passed since then and Hijikata could say with absolute conviction that life had been worth living. It had been difficult and stressful at times, but also packed full of memories that had been entirely worth making. It was true he could have come back to the forest, back to Gintoki, throughout the years, but it just would have been the same problem every time.

He'd never want to leave.

He'd see Gintoki, spend only seconds with him, and start thinking of ways to move back and make things work. Gintoki had foreseen that long before Hijikata had, but he understood now why it was so important that they stayed apart. It was challenging, definitely, but a lot less challenging than it would have been had Hijikata come back and tried to leave again. He liked to think that that was wisdom and he'd somehow garnered it at his ripe age, but it was actually just obvious.

Hijikata held the stone tight in his right hand as he set off toward the woods. The house he'd grown up in was gone, apparently the foundation had given way some twenty years ago and the house itself had been cleared away instead of left to rot and ruin. The paths he'd known as a kid were grown in, so he made his own path and nearly tripped when he found the cobble stone path. He'd told the taxi driver the truth, mostly – that he'd grown up nearby and wanted to walk the area before meeting up with an old friend.

No one was going to be looking for him out here, no one even really knew where he'd gone. Any family he'd had was gone and the few friends that remained wouldn't need the closure of knowing where he'd gone. He was in his nineties, there wasn't anything left him anymore. He'd had a great run, he'd enjoyed his life and all the people in it, but there was no denying that there was always a piece missing.

There were times it all felt like a dream, everything involving Gintoki, but he knew it wasn't. He knew because some nights, rare and far between, he'd dream of open hills and thick woods. He'd hear laughter that was so familiar that he knew in his heart that he couldn't make that kind of sound up and that was all the reassurance Hijikata needed. He never dreamed of Gintoki himself, not exactly, not his face, but he remembered what the idiot looked like just fine. Somehow, no matter the years that had passed, red eyes and pale skin always came easy to him. It could have been because of that fluffy perm, but whatever it was, it didn't matter, Gintoki's image was a tattoo seared into his memory.

When Hijikata passed the observatory, he didn't stop, he didn't want to look at it. It made no difference if his hand print was still there or if the structure was still standing, it was alive in his memory as it had always been. His knees ached and he could feel the joints of his hips inflaming, but he didn't stop. He knew where he was going and no amount of foliage would or could get in his way. He kept the stone in his palm, for it went with him wherever he went, it always had. He'd thought about having it turned into a necklace or something so he wouldn't lose it, but in the end, he could never bring himself to alter it. The edges of it were smooth now, he'd handled it so often that it felt like it knew the shape of his palm better than his own fingers.

He wasn't worried about not finding his way, just like it'd been before, he felt safe in the woods. The paths were still familiar even if they looked different now and he could trust that his feet knew which steps to take. Hijikata had had many jobs over the years and one of them had involved making sure these woods were protected. It'd taken a lot of connections and favors, but the area was now a sanctuary for wildlife, safe from developers wanting to cut it down. It'd be safe for a long time, decades, he was sure.

It took him awhile to get where he wanted to go and by the time he got there, he was exhausted. He wasn't at all surprised at how different it looked, but he was definitely in the right place. He made his way through the thicket into the grove and even the air there smelled different, unique, unlike anything else.

Gintoki's grave was worse off than before, half of the headstone had finally crumbled under the weight of its years and the other half was consumed by foliage. It hardly even looked like a grave anymore, but Hijikata didn't really think that that mattered at this point. He sat himself down in front of it and wiped sweat from his brow with the back of his hand. The forest was alive around him, alive and thriving, just as it had always been.

Stone in his hand, Hijikata's breathing slowed and he closed his eyes. He thought about his life, his family, his friends, his first job, his last one, all the many places he'd traveled, the people he'd met, the pets he'd had. Life was full of good and bad and his life had been one more good than bad. When things got rough, he found a way through, and thinking about everything as a whole, he had no regrets.

Now, he was ready to take his next step.

“Better not have forgotten me, natural perm.”

A frigid cold gust was blown against the back of Hijikata's neck and a laugh followed right after. “I would never!”

Like being pulled from the river all those many years ago, the cold was replaced by an incomprehensible warmth, only this time it wasn't the sun, it was a smile. Hijikata opened his eyes to a smile when he blinked, the smile grew a face and a body, the smile became whole. Gintoki stood before him exactly how he'd been in Hijikata's youth and when he reached out a hand, Hijikata reached out for him too. The pains he'd known as a older man melted away and the wrinkles were gone from his fingers as he reached, the stone dropping to the ground.

Gintoki's hand was warmer than Hijikata had ever imagined it to be.

And his lips, Hijikata found out moments later, were even warmer.

**The End**

 


End file.
